It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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