Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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