I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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