So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
