So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
NoShamevember. You game?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
