I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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