i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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