I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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