Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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