Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
