This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
