Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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