He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
