I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
