Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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