You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
