Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
