You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize