Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Pooping to opera.
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