i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
