She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
