He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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