Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
