Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
