i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm at about main and main street
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Enjoy the penises
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
