I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
