New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
