i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
