the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist