Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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