P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
