So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
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Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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