if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
