I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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