Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
