Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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