Dual....:-)
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
