You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
