More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I smell stomach acid.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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