This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
