I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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