No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize