im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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