Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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