Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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