They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
