there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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