I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't deserve a penis
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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