Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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