my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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