I wanna bring you to show and tell
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
