How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
