I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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