I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
