you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
