I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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