If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
