I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I didn't notice because vodka
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
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