i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
