dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
